US Government wants Nintendo hacker Gary Bowser jailed for five years
It must be tough to be Bowser. Think about it. While everyone else around you lives in a gorgeous, fantastical land of plenty and wonder, with shimmering oceans and verdant green fields stretching as far as the eye can see, you’re stuck in your crapsack domain of deathtraps, spikes and lava pits. The sun never shines, you can’t walk three feet without stepping on a bomb of some description, and I’d be surprised if the trains ran on time. To say nothing of the unchecked skeleton infestation.
On top of that, you’ve got to raise eight kids (no matter how much your parent company tries to pretend only one of them is yours, those custody battles demonstrate otherwise) and manage a largely incompetent military force, all on your own. It’s easy to see why you’d want to have a crack at expanding your territory a bit, perhaps even integrate with the unreasonably hostile neighbors. Moreover, it’s – wait, what? Hold on. Sorry, little bit of a mix-up there. Wrong Bowser. Let’s try that again.
It must be tough to be Bowser. Specifically, Gary Bowser. No, not the current head of Nintendo of America, whose deliciously ironic appointment gave rise to many a meme (you still can’t convince me it wasn’t done on purpose the second they saw his CV). We’re talking about the other Gary Bowser, a prominent online hacker whose endeavors as part of the infamous Team Xecuter placed him firmly in the crosshairs of not only Nintendo, but several industry leaders. To get into detail regarding his exploits would require an article all its own, but suffice it to say, he helped distribute software and hardware that allowed the play of pirated games on the Switch. You can understand why that’d make him somewhat unpopular.
Gary Bowser: The Backstory
Last year, we reported that he had been tracked down in one of his seven Koopa hotels the Dominican Republic and, after a lengthy legal pursuit, ultimately pleaded guilty to the charges. The charges being? “Conspiracy to circumvent technological measures and trafficking in circumvention devices,” which both carry maximum prison sentences of five years. Now, as NintendoLife reports, that’s precisely the retribution the US Government is looking to pursue.
The proposed sentence is laid out in court documents relating to Bowser’s ongoing case, and the Government has argued that it’d be an appropriate punishment as it would reflect “the nature and circumstances of the offence, the history and characteristics of the defendant, and the need for the sentence to reflect the seriousness of the offence, to promote respect for the law, and to provide just punishment… to afford adequate deterrence to criminal conduct.”
As if this wasn’t enough book-throwing for one case, the government is further advising that Bowser should be subject to “three years’ supervision,” meaning constant reports to a probation officer and (more than likely) close scrutiny of his online activity. That is of course assuming he’s permitted onto the internet at all. Might be a blessing in disguise, Gaz.
Bowser’s Minions Strike Back
In response, Bowser’s legal team (not staffed, I was disappointed to discover, by goombas) have indicated that they feel this sentence would be unfair, and plan to fight it. Instead, they’re calling for a shorter jail term. Their statement reads as follows:
“This is a serious offence in which Nintendo suffered substantial monetary loss. A sentence of 19 months for the least culpable of the three charged defendants, under the circumstances in which Mr. Bowser has actually served that sentence, is significant.”
Their basis for arguing that Bowser was the least culpable Team Xecuter member is a fiscal one. “They estimate he collected $320,000 over seven years,” states the report, “while also claiming that other members of the piracy group made significantly more.” Whether or not this reasoning will be accepted in court is a matter that remains to be seen, but either way, he’s bound for the slammer.
The US government had the following to say, in summary: “This case is unlike any other criminal case known to the government. Mr. Bowser deserves a higher sentence… given the size and breadth of the Team Xecuter conspiracy, which lasted for years and included multiple types of circumvention devices.” Any further penalties assigned to Bowser will be in addition to a total of $14.5 million he’s already agreed to pay in fines. He’s going to have to bash more than a few blocks to rake in that kind of coinage.
Make sure to stay tuned to all our channels for further updates on this fascinating – yet undeniably humorous – legal journey as it develops. We can only hope things wrap up sooner rather than later, and that all involved parties receive the justice that is deserved; after all, I only have so many Bowser jokes left to crack. I’m going to have to start raiding the DiC cartoons for material soon, and then we’re really in trouble.
Are you intrigued by Bowser’s story? Would you like to see more coverage? Let us know!
Via, NintendoLife.
